I wish my doctor had insisted back then to first work on ourselves i.e. make our bodies conducive for child birth...well from where i come from even among the well reputed doctors it is very common that they choose to forget that they are care givers first...They rather use their establishments as a money making device!!...So without any delay she prepared us for the laproscopic ovarian drilling. She also informed us that since this procedure will help to make the reproductive system better i should undergo IUI almost immediately i.e. a month after laproscopy. We were ok with that coz it made sense to complete the entire procedure and not leave anything for later...
The IUI was a success!!!I can't express the joy that i felt when i saw the two lines....
I had missed my period and was a week overdue....i took the home test...i woke my husband up...we were so happy that he didnt go to work that day and we rushed to our doctor. SHe congratulated us after taking the same test that i had taken at home!! well i didnt mind then coz i was happy and relieved to see the double lines again! Our doctor said that I should consider myself very lucky since I conceived just after one sitting of IUI...well i really FELT lucky!
She asked me to take very good care of myself and suggested that i take complete rest...i decided i had to resign from my work....and it was such a joyous occasion for us i didnt think twice about leaving my job....if that meant i'd have safe pregnancy and a healthy baby...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Ok i figured that the only way to make this 'writing a journal' kind of experience really fruitful is by writing about real, immediate things relevant to my life...
I mean although the previous things were my thoughts they were pretty general...i want to write about my struggle in trying to conceive..,thanx to all those blogs that i read on the subject i too want to key down my journey to motherhood (fingers crossed!!!) and all that it entails.
Well the journey began back in the year 2003..yes looong 5 years already! I got married in 2001 and my husband and me both decided that although we loved children we will start a family only after two years of each other....so the year 2003 would be our baby making year and by 2004 we were hoping to have our own child. But the famous adage "man proposes and god disposes" unfortunately came true in our lives and therefore the article on "Realisation"....
The year 2003 turned out to be a nightmarish year for me....i was far too naive about my body and being much younger i had the habbit of taking life for granted. I never used to give any serious thought to any ailments that i ever faced...i always KNEW that with time i 'd get over it and everything would be back to normal ie beautiful...well this time it never seemed to get back to normal... you see my work needed me to stay up all night and sleep during the day. Now my hormonal system was already sensitive even before marriage..ie i had a history of irregular cycles. With medications it would get to normal but the irregularity would begin right after two or three cycles. So after marriage once the irregularity set in i took medications but with time i thought that my system's getting too dependent on it. This was due to the fact that it was hard geting my periods without taking medication. I hated it. I wanted to get back the normal cycles that my body had when i reached puberty ...so i stopped taking any medication. Well this decision probably harmed me more than it did any good, coz I ended up with more complications. In 2003 all of a sudden i started menstruating and never stopped until there was a medical intervention. I bled every day of that year...some days were scanty, some days were like regular period days and some days were worst! There were days when there would be no bleeding for hours and suddenly without any warning i would feel a gush of warm liquid between my legs....as if water came out...my dress would get sooo soiled i was forced to take leave for the day...and return home practically in tears. I always felt next month would be different...i feared if i go to a doc she might say something worse like cancer or something....I kept hoping for the best in the coming month....
Finally i could take it no longer and decided to see a gynaec...(by then i had lost hope on any docs coz they couldn't make my cycles normal)
She told me to undergo a battery of blood test for hormones on the third day of my period coz the period WOULD come through medication... Surprisingly everything was normal. The scan however showed that there were cysts on the ovaries. The doctor advised me to go through DNC to help me stop the irregular bleeding...I went through that and then only through medication my bleeding was stopped.
Things started to look better since i got my periods regularly for the first three months after DNC, however after the fourth month irregularity set in and things became jus like before. By that time I was ready to give up. I actually procrastinated for a couple of times. In the meantime I had gained an obscene amount of weight about 20kgs and the docs were insistent that i lost wait...so i started going for aerobics and cardiac. A friend from the aerobic class recommended this gynaec who she thought was a miracle worker...I went to her, she again sent me for another round of blood tests for hormones and found all levels normal...but the scan showed poly cysts on my ovaries. This time she insisted that my husband undergoes a semen analysis to check his counts. Well since i had this history of irregular period i just assumed that my body wasn't working properly...but we were surprises at the test results of the semen analysis ...my husband had a low sperm count way below the expected count and then the doc...suggested a laproscopic ovarian drilling and then two rounds of IUI. I was keen on getting better and yes since we were going a year late on our plans of having a baby and now that we realised that there is a fault with both of our systems we went for it.
I mean although the previous things were my thoughts they were pretty general...i want to write about my struggle in trying to conceive..,thanx to all those blogs that i read on the subject i too want to key down my journey to motherhood (fingers crossed!!!) and all that it entails.
Well the journey began back in the year 2003..yes looong 5 years already! I got married in 2001 and my husband and me both decided that although we loved children we will start a family only after two years of each other....so the year 2003 would be our baby making year and by 2004 we were hoping to have our own child. But the famous adage "man proposes and god disposes" unfortunately came true in our lives and therefore the article on "Realisation"....
The year 2003 turned out to be a nightmarish year for me....i was far too naive about my body and being much younger i had the habbit of taking life for granted. I never used to give any serious thought to any ailments that i ever faced...i always KNEW that with time i 'd get over it and everything would be back to normal ie beautiful...well this time it never seemed to get back to normal... you see my work needed me to stay up all night and sleep during the day. Now my hormonal system was already sensitive even before marriage..ie i had a history of irregular cycles. With medications it would get to normal but the irregularity would begin right after two or three cycles. So after marriage once the irregularity set in i took medications but with time i thought that my system's getting too dependent on it. This was due to the fact that it was hard geting my periods without taking medication. I hated it. I wanted to get back the normal cycles that my body had when i reached puberty ...so i stopped taking any medication. Well this decision probably harmed me more than it did any good, coz I ended up with more complications. In 2003 all of a sudden i started menstruating and never stopped until there was a medical intervention. I bled every day of that year...some days were scanty, some days were like regular period days and some days were worst! There were days when there would be no bleeding for hours and suddenly without any warning i would feel a gush of warm liquid between my legs....as if water came out...my dress would get sooo soiled i was forced to take leave for the day...and return home practically in tears. I always felt next month would be different...i feared if i go to a doc she might say something worse like cancer or something....I kept hoping for the best in the coming month....
Finally i could take it no longer and decided to see a gynaec...(by then i had lost hope on any docs coz they couldn't make my cycles normal)
She told me to undergo a battery of blood test for hormones on the third day of my period coz the period WOULD come through medication... Surprisingly everything was normal. The scan however showed that there were cysts on the ovaries. The doctor advised me to go through DNC to help me stop the irregular bleeding...I went through that and then only through medication my bleeding was stopped.
Things started to look better since i got my periods regularly for the first three months after DNC, however after the fourth month irregularity set in and things became jus like before. By that time I was ready to give up. I actually procrastinated for a couple of times. In the meantime I had gained an obscene amount of weight about 20kgs and the docs were insistent that i lost wait...so i started going for aerobics and cardiac. A friend from the aerobic class recommended this gynaec who she thought was a miracle worker...I went to her, she again sent me for another round of blood tests for hormones and found all levels normal...but the scan showed poly cysts on my ovaries. This time she insisted that my husband undergoes a semen analysis to check his counts. Well since i had this history of irregular period i just assumed that my body wasn't working properly...but we were surprises at the test results of the semen analysis ...my husband had a low sperm count way below the expected count and then the doc...suggested a laproscopic ovarian drilling and then two rounds of IUI. I was keen on getting better and yes since we were going a year late on our plans of having a baby and now that we realised that there is a fault with both of our systems we went for it.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Realisation....
Lately I have been thinking that you really cannot plan life....
I am a big fan of Oprah Winfrey not just because she made it big against all odds but for the simple reason that over the years I just seem to agree with most of everything that she has to say. Now I am not the kind of person who follows people blindly...I always seem to have an opinion about everything. But Oprah is something else. Anyways I read the following in one of her mails (yeah.. i am a regular visitor to her site and therefore have subscribed for news letters) on spirituality when she was doing this online weekly session of Eckhart Tolle's book " A new earth" :
Allowing the truth of who you are—your spiritual self—to rule your life means you stop the struggle and learn to move with the flow of your life. As Eckhart says in A New Earth, "There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness: One With Life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."
Life is the dancer and you are the dance.....that hit me...it summarizes in one simple sentence what I have been experiencing all my life...no matter how hard I tried I have never received anything that I wanted at the time I wanted them, rather i received the exact thing when the time was perfect.....and I have been overlooking this all my life and therefore have been struggling. I know that things will happen to me at their destined time...I should therefore relax and just be the dance and since then I haven't been planning much and am excited about the mysteries this life is waiting to unravel ......
I am a big fan of Oprah Winfrey not just because she made it big against all odds but for the simple reason that over the years I just seem to agree with most of everything that she has to say. Now I am not the kind of person who follows people blindly...I always seem to have an opinion about everything. But Oprah is something else. Anyways I read the following in one of her mails (yeah.. i am a regular visitor to her site and therefore have subscribed for news letters) on spirituality when she was doing this online weekly session of Eckhart Tolle's book " A new earth" :
Allowing the truth of who you are—your spiritual self—to rule your life means you stop the struggle and learn to move with the flow of your life. As Eckhart says in A New Earth, "There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness: One With Life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."
Life is the dancer and you are the dance.....that hit me...it summarizes in one simple sentence what I have been experiencing all my life...no matter how hard I tried I have never received anything that I wanted at the time I wanted them, rather i received the exact thing when the time was perfect.....and I have been overlooking this all my life and therefore have been struggling. I know that things will happen to me at their destined time...I should therefore relax and just be the dance and since then I haven't been planning much and am excited about the mysteries this life is waiting to unravel ......
The beginning
Vow!! I'd completely forgotten that i had created a blog once(for my profession)...but then decided to change everything about it...thaat took sooo long!!...(this is my first time...and it has been a learning exp so far..)
Any ways..so here I am finally back to writing about my every day life...that I remember used to do long long time back....when i was a teenager...u know...i guess every teenager goes through that phase when you have to vent out your everchanging emotions, questions that come up while seeing life with a pair of newly found different coloured lens..
Here i am now a matured woman trying to undrstand and learn from the experiences that life is presenting me with. Some times i feel that nothing has really changed ...then i was a young girl ...everything was new unexplored around me...and now as a mtured woman again life is full of new experiences, surrounding, people etc.....Life is presenting me with newness and hence the urge to write again...to try to state my feelings, understand the meaning of some experiences which when u r experiencing them you are so overwhelmed that you stop thinking...the actual realisations comes later and then I'd like to write about it so that it remains forever ...somewhere safe ...for me to go back and relive those moments.
Any ways..so here I am finally back to writing about my every day life...that I remember used to do long long time back....when i was a teenager...u know...i guess every teenager goes through that phase when you have to vent out your everchanging emotions, questions that come up while seeing life with a pair of newly found different coloured lens..
Here i am now a matured woman trying to undrstand and learn from the experiences that life is presenting me with. Some times i feel that nothing has really changed ...then i was a young girl ...everything was new unexplored around me...and now as a mtured woman again life is full of new experiences, surrounding, people etc.....Life is presenting me with newness and hence the urge to write again...to try to state my feelings, understand the meaning of some experiences which when u r experiencing them you are so overwhelmed that you stop thinking...the actual realisations comes later and then I'd like to write about it so that it remains forever ...somewhere safe ...for me to go back and relive those moments.
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