Ok i figured that the only way to make this 'writing a journal' kind of experience really fruitful is by writing about real, immediate things relevant to my life...
I mean although the previous things were my thoughts they were pretty general...i want to write about my struggle in trying to conceive..,thanx to all those blogs that i read on the subject i too want to key down my journey to motherhood (fingers crossed!!!) and all that it entails.
Well the journey began back in the year 2003..yes looong 5 years already! I got married in 2001 and my husband and me both decided that although we loved children we will start a family only after two years of each other....so the year 2003 would be our baby making year and by 2004 we were hoping to have our own child. But the famous adage "man proposes and god disposes" unfortunately came true in our lives and therefore the article on "Realisation"....
The year 2003 turned out to be a nightmarish year for me....i was far too naive about my body and being much younger i had the habbit of taking life for granted. I never used to give any serious thought to any ailments that i ever faced...i always KNEW that with time i 'd get over it and everything would be back to normal ie beautiful...well this time it never seemed to get back to normal... you see my work needed me to stay up all night and sleep during the day. Now my hormonal system was already sensitive even before marriage..ie i had a history of irregular cycles. With medications it would get to normal but the irregularity would begin right after two or three cycles. So after marriage once the irregularity set in i took medications but with time i thought that my system's getting too dependent on it. This was due to the fact that it was hard geting my periods without taking medication. I hated it. I wanted to get back the normal cycles that my body had when i reached puberty ...so i stopped taking any medication. Well this decision probably harmed me more than it did any good, coz I ended up with more complications. In 2003 all of a sudden i started menstruating and never stopped until there was a medical intervention. I bled every day of that year...some days were scanty, some days were like regular period days and some days were worst! There were days when there would be no bleeding for hours and suddenly without any warning i would feel a gush of warm liquid between my legs....as if water came out...my dress would get sooo soiled i was forced to take leave for the day...and return home practically in tears. I always felt next month would be different...i feared if i go to a doc she might say something worse like cancer or something....I kept hoping for the best in the coming month....
Finally i could take it no longer and decided to see a gynaec...(by then i had lost hope on any docs coz they couldn't make my cycles normal)
She told me to undergo a battery of blood test for hormones on the third day of my period coz the period WOULD come through medication... Surprisingly everything was normal. The scan however showed that there were cysts on the ovaries. The doctor advised me to go through DNC to help me stop the irregular bleeding...I went through that and then only through medication my bleeding was stopped.
Things started to look better since i got my periods regularly for the first three months after DNC, however after the fourth month irregularity set in and things became jus like before. By that time I was ready to give up. I actually procrastinated for a couple of times. In the meantime I had gained an obscene amount of weight about 20kgs and the docs were insistent that i lost wait...so i started going for aerobics and cardiac. A friend from the aerobic class recommended this gynaec who she thought was a miracle worker...I went to her, she again sent me for another round of blood tests for hormones and found all levels normal...but the scan showed poly cysts on my ovaries. This time she insisted that my husband undergoes a semen analysis to check his counts. Well since i had this history of irregular period i just assumed that my body wasn't working properly...but we were surprises at the test results of the semen analysis ...my husband had a low sperm count way below the expected count and then the doc...suggested a laproscopic ovarian drilling and then two rounds of IUI. I was keen on getting better and yes since we were going a year late on our plans of having a baby and now that we realised that there is a fault with both of our systems we went for it.